Jessa Duggar tragically revealed that she suffered a miscarriage over the holidays.
The former reality star shared a heartbreaking video via her YouTube channel Friday, which detailed the painful loss of her and husband Ben Seewald’s fifth child.
In the clip, the “19 Kids and Counting” alum recalled being at the hospital with her husband and “trying to process the loss [while] sitting there and holding hands and crying” after the tragic news.
“Nothing could have prepared me for the weight of those words in that moment,” Duggar said in the 19-minute social media video, titled “Heartbreak Over the Holidays.”
“At that moment I was just in complete shock. I didn’t have words. I just immediately started crying.”
The reality star – who shares Spurgeon, 7, Henry, 6, Ivy, 3, and Fern, 1, with Seewald – said she was concerned after she started “spotting” blood.
At her next ultrasound appointment, a doctor informed the couple that the baby did not “look good.”
“I feel like in some ways miscarriages can be so jarring because you don’t have clear signs of something going wrong,” she said, noting her beloved husband wrapped his arms around her as the technician left the room.
“I had minimal spotting for 24 hours, and that was it.”
Duggar then decided to check in to a hospital where she had a dilation and curettage procedure to remove the fetus from her womb.
“I was able to thank God in that moment for giving us this life, even if we wouldn’t be able to hold this baby in our arms,” she told her fans.
“Those 10 to 15 minutes before I was taken back to the room where Ben and my mom were waiting were probably some of the hardest in my life, just laying there feeling so alone.”
She concluded the video by thanking her husband and their four children. She also told fans that she plans to “take a break” from social media.
This sadly wasn’t the first time the couple have experienced pregnancy loss. Duggar previously opened up about losing a baby before the birth of their daughter Fern.
“After the heartbreaking loss of a baby last year, we’re overjoyed to share that another little Seewald is on the way,” Duggar and Seewald said in a statement in 2021, before welcoming their little girl in July.
“The pregnancy is going smoothly, and both baby and Jessa are doing well.”
The “Counting On” alum said “I do” to Seewald in 2014.